Constantine is 24-and-a-half weeks big!

It's been a little while since I've done a professional shoot, but I'm keeping my skills nice and practiced with a ton of Temple assignments and every-day life. School has kept me pretty busy, but this semester shouldn't be too bad and then in August I am DONE!

Now that we have finally found out the gender of our baby and seen his perfect, sweet little face, I am so impatient to meet him. I couldn't believe how breathtakingly beautiful he is. I know every mother must feel this way, but I am convinced there has never been a more amazing baby. I want to meet him so badly!

Nathaniel jokes that I have to remember to take care of the baby in between all the inevitable photos I will be taking of him. Oh man, that baby will be used to the sight of a camera, that's for sure!

Constantine, we love you so much. We can't wait to hold you and give you kisses!

20 Weeks.

It's taken long enough, but a photo gallery is finally in the works. It's kind of funny to me that my passion was so firmly rooted in pregnancy and birth photography before I ever became pregnant. These last several months have been a really amazing affirmation that this is what I want to be doing. I love our baby - I love this 'mommy' feeling that's growing and developing with this little person inside of me. It's such a surreal, truly incredible experience. This photo was taken today - I'm officially 20 weeks pregnant. Five months, how did that happen???

Stay tuned for details on this gallery! Every penny will be going towards the cost of a natural home birth, which is not covered by insurance. Incidentally, all compensation for my photography services currently is being allocated for this purpose as well. So if you have an event coming up - a wedding, a birthday party, an award ceremony, anything - or if you'd just like some up-to-date family photos, be sure to let me know!

Portrait of Junior Year.

It's crazy to think that I'm so close to graduating.  I've been taking college courses since I was 14 and now it's starting to wind down.  Have I learned enough in my time here?  Have I taken advantage of every opportunity that was given me?  It's a little scary to think that in such a short amount of time I will be 'on my own' and expected to just run with it.

I'll hardly be underprepared.  Temple (read: Dr. Trayes) has been bootcamp for photojournalists.  I'm exhausted.  I hardly sleep.  I don't go out.  But my photography has improved, as has my ability to get the shot no matter what, to tell the story, to accomplish what I thought was impossible.  I've learned a lot about what I'm capable of.

I'm grateful for the experience.  I'm glad to know that I can work hard and achieve something difficult.  But I know that this isn't what I want for my life.  I love photography, I love the people I photograph, I love getting the story.  And there was a time when I would thrive off of the adrenaline.  These days, I dream about settling into a little home in the mountains with my husband and family and opening a cafe.  I dream about photographing my kids as they grow and learn things.  I want to document pregnancy and birth - I want to pursue the things I  care about.  I am worn out - I don't care about breaking news the way I do about family.


I'm homesick for something I've never known.  I'm longing for a place I've never really been.  I'm proud to know that I can work as hard as I have... but all I want is for life to slow down.

Three months and one week!

It's so bizarre to think that in just over three months I am going to be a wife.  Have I reached "grown-up" at long last?  Can I now begin this long and complex journey to wrinkly and rocking-chair?  I'm excited.


Yesterday was muggy and 80 degrees, but it could have been worse, and out in my backyard it actually felt pretty nice, so I decided to take a few pictures.  I'm going to miss my backyard so much when we move.  I'm hoping for something equally beautiful, or even more-so.


There was a nice soft light underneath the trees that I took advantage of for these.  It really feels like walking into another world out there, I love it.  I wanted to plant a garden but I feel now sort of like there's not much of a point if I'll be leaving in just a few short months.


In other news, things are finally in the works for my Canon 5D Mark II and 24-70 f/2.8 and 70-200 f/2.8 lenses!  So excited!!! I should, if all things go according to plan, have them in the next few weeks so I can familiarize myself with them before the wedding I'm shooting in August.  Can't wait!

Choose your own adventure.

It's kind of interesting to see how people react to photos - the stories they make up to go along, the ways they justify them so they make sense in their line of reasoning.  Always be nervous when someone decides to tell you what your pictures mean.


I don't know what my pictures "mean", per se.  I know what they are.  I know what I wanted to capture, what I wanted to highlight, discover, reveal.  But what does that mean?  I guess it's up for interpretation - or anyway, I can't stop people from forming their own theories.  But I don't usually like hearing them.


In class a few weeks ago our teacher spent several minutes speaking about the person in one of my photos.  I couldn't help but be insulted, because while it was an educated and sympathetic guess, it really wasn't anywhere close to the truth.  The events that led up to this person being in this state when I took that picture were nothing like what was surmised.  But it was anyone's guess, I suppose.  Photos are like those choose your own ending stories, only there is a real ending, somewhere out there.  I guess people would rather use their imagination than know the truth.


I showed this picture yesterday in class, receiving reactions of discomfort, disbelief, disgust.  And then I told them it was my own neck.  I'm not ashamed or bothered by my scar - in fact, I kind of like it.  But these things don't matter when you see the picture.  You'll make your own decisions about how the subject feels, about why they did one thing instead of another, about what happened thirty seconds before or two seconds after the shutter clicked.  And I can't stop you.  And I think I'll stop trying.

I'm still alive!

Whooo, what a crazy past few weeks!  I am ecstatic to finally be done with the semester and resting for a little bit.  Next semester is a very exciting one for me- I finally start with *photo*journalism courses.

Also, in the past few weeks I've had the great pleasure of speaking with several women who either have done home-births or are going to, and one woman who is friends with a home-birth trainer.  Great leads to work with!

My sister is due to give birth to her third child in March- I am ecstatic.  I can't wait to show the world my beautiful new baby niece or nephew (I'm convinced it's a boy).

Shooting has taken a bit of a hiatus recently so that I can keep up with school more.  There's been a lot of writing-intensive work, a lot of hunting down stories and reporting and being GUTSY.  Eeep, it's scary!

I am so excited, however, to be where I am right now.  There have been so many wonderful events that are continually keeping me excited for the future.  I am head-over-heels in love with the man I am going to spend my life with and everything else is quickly falling into place.  To say things haven't been crazy or chaotic would be a lie, but they're coming together and it's been very exciting to be a part of.

A bit of vanity tonight, but only because I want to show you all my new hair.  I finally figured out sort of how my esteemed friend Corwin Prescott gets a certain look in post-work.  So Corwin, I'm copying you- I hope you don't mind.  Ladies and Gents, do please check out his work- it's phenomenal.

Self-Portrait Practice

I haven't really done much modeling in the past year or so.  I found myself getting way too caught up in the wrong side of the camera and not focusing enough on what's really important to me.  Not to say that there's anything wrong with modeling, it's just not my passion- it's not what I want to do with my life.  All the same, I do still have fun using myself as a practice subject.  I test a lot of ideas out on myself before I try them on other people.

I thought I'd share a few that I took the other day.  I was going to

 choose just one, but I honestly 

wasn't sure which I liked most.  I don't mean that to be narcissistic, I do honestly try to look at any photo I take, whether it's of me or anyone/anything else and evaluate it purely on a technical level.  I have to remember that any emotional attachment or particular fondness I may have for a photo may not be shared with others.  It's got to be first and foremost a good shot for people to enjoy it and form their own opinions.

They're all a little different, as far as post-editing is concerned.  The most obviously edited one is the last- I ran a few filters to make it look a little more like a painting.  The first two were just color and contrast adjustments.  So what do you think?  Favorites?  Least favorites?  And why?  I'm curious- let me know!