Design - for Journalists.

I took some family portraits just outside of Philly last week. It was a beautiful day - a barefoot in the grass kind of day. I've missed those so much.

Right now I'm working on a new business card and web design for a solar paneling company. Definitely different from my usual work but it's nice to use my Multimedia training! What do you know, I'm grateful to have taken Design for Journalists, after-all.

Every day I wake up in love with our beautiful little home. It's got its quirks but it is the most inspiring, lovely place I have ever lived. We have an incredible life!

Insomnia.

The last several weeks I've had a near impossible time getting a full night's sleep. I wake up in the night feeling like every muscle in my body has been beaten up and it's just very difficult to get through the night.

The upside to this, I suppose, is that I have time at odd hours to do things - like edit photos.

We will be done housesitting in less than two weeks now and then we'll be completely transitioning into our new home. There's a lot to get done between now and then and I think that, coupled with the stress of making sure everything is ready for Constantine's birth have been contributing factors to my lack of sleep, as well. Coming from someone who obsessively makes lists and tries to organize every minute detail of everything, surprises and the great unknown are not on my list of favorites!!!

I'm looking forward to working with my talented friend, Hillary Petrozziello in the near future. Hillary and I went to Temple together and I've always really admired the way she sees things artistically. It'll be fun to let someone else's artistic vision of what my pregnancy looks like take a different spin on things. I'll keep y'all posted.

The calm before the storm.

This morning breakfast looked serene, as odd as that sounds. So I decided to take a picture. I need to keep my iron levels up, so I had cream of wheat with some fresh raspberries and blueberries and a light drizzle of honey. It was delicious.

Today at 5:30 I submitted the very last assignment needed to officially be done school. Not for the summer, not for the semester. I'm just... done. Considering I've been taking college classes since I was 14, this actually feels very strange. I think I'm happy. At the same time, though, I've always been used to having another semester to look forward to, another class to take. I love learning. I've had some really awful teachers over the years, but the good ones have made up for it, every time. Everyone is telling me that I'll have my hands full in two months and I know it's true - little Constantine is going to take up my whole world and I am impatiently waiting to finally meet him and give him a thousand and one kisses. It just feels strange to be done with one part of life and moving on to another.

This last semester I had to take a TV Broadcast News course in order to fulfill a surprise last-minute Journalism degree requirement- something I was not looking forward to. I kept thinking great, I'll be six and seven months pregnant with this huge basketball sticking out where my abs should be, all puffy-faced and hormonal and I'll have to be on video - somewhere I am not usually very comfortable being. There's a reason I'm pursuing photography and why I quit modeling all those years ago.

Oh me of little faith - I was surprised once more by the good that can come from an unexpected situation. My teacher, Denise James, was absolutely wonderful. Not only was she a wealth of knowledge on the topic of story presentation and the newsroom, she was just an inspiring, kind person.

I had pretty much resigned myself to graduating with this degree and never really using it - I mean, I have every intention of continuing with photography, but my degree says "Journalism" and I'm, well, about to have a baby. I can't exactly work for National Geographic right now. Professor James encouraged me to find ways to continue working with what I'm passionate about (you all know, that's pretty much babies, home birth and "natural mommy" stuff). And I think I'm going to do it.

Not easily broken.

The past two weeks have been a difficult time for me. In one week I will be done my BFA at Temple and it only just hit me on Tuesday how I can use this degree in journalism to my advantage as a stay-at-home mom.

I'm thinking about starting a new YouTube channel focusing on home birth. I have all of the equipment I need to conduct video interviews and take photos and if I haven't learned how to write an article by now I've been wasting my time. It could be more casual, more intimate than a news outlet, not so structured. But a consistent, maybe once weekly or twice monthly video interview with someone who has something to contribute to the natural birth world. It wouldn't even always have to deal directly with home birth - there are so many "Mommy" related things to talk about and I know I'm about to be introduced to a whole new world of them when Constantine arrives.

I have found that this is what I'm passionate about. This is what I love. I'd like to do something with it.

The past few days, I have been glad for the reminder that even in difficult times, a cord of three strands is not easily broken. I have my husband and I have God loving me through every single day, no matter how hard it gets. I'm thankful for that gift.

Constantine is 24-and-a-half weeks big!

It's been a little while since I've done a professional shoot, but I'm keeping my skills nice and practiced with a ton of Temple assignments and every-day life. School has kept me pretty busy, but this semester shouldn't be too bad and then in August I am DONE!

Now that we have finally found out the gender of our baby and seen his perfect, sweet little face, I am so impatient to meet him. I couldn't believe how breathtakingly beautiful he is. I know every mother must feel this way, but I am convinced there has never been a more amazing baby. I want to meet him so badly!

Nathaniel jokes that I have to remember to take care of the baby in between all the inevitable photos I will be taking of him. Oh man, that baby will be used to the sight of a camera, that's for sure!

Constantine, we love you so much. We can't wait to hold you and give you kisses!

A hundred pieces.

The first time I felt the baby move I was so astonished by the experience I almost cried. It was just this tiny little push that reminded me that there is a viable little person inside of me. Amazing.

These days, Smoosh moves around a lot. Those tiny little movements aren't quite so small anymore - sometimes they're not too bad but other times I start to think "Knock it off in there, or you're grounded!"

As of last night, I am finished all of my assignments for PhiladelphiaNeighborhoods. It was a long, difficult semester for me and although I met a lot of really awesome people, I'm glad that it's over. It was very frustrating and difficult for me to exert myself so physically for such long hours, knowing that it wasn't good for the baby or for me. We both needed to be resting a lot more than we were able.

I've felt like I haven't really had time to be myself or to get to know my changing body or the little one we're waiting to meet because of the demands of school. I have always been determined to finish my BFA and am proud of myself for being one step closer (two more classes this Summer II semester and then it's over) but I have really been longing to have more time to prepare for Smoosh. I feel like I've been torn into a hundred different directions and although I know which direction is most important to me, I haven't been able to pursue it. I'm very tired and I feel like I've neglected my child by overexerting myself for class. I don't like it.

I just keep looking to the end of the summer when I'm done school and I can spend some time with my husband and my baby bump.

Memorial Day, taking breaks and why I haven't written lately!

It's been pretty busy around here the past few weeks.  Normally I enjoy all the activity but lately I've just wanted things to be slow and relaxed - surprise, surprise!  Despite a hectic schedule, very little sleep and a lot of running around, Nathaniel and I have been enjoying the excitement and wonder that comes with my ever-expanding belly. Two weeks ago I felt the baby push against my hand - it was unbelievable. I'm feeling healthy, for the most part, and more and more aware of all the things Nathaniel and I will be able to share with our little one when they arrive. We've started reading Frog and Toad to 'Smoosh' - which I love.

In fulfillment of my last 'big' Temple class before graduation this August (YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!) I've been writing/shooting photos/video/editing stories and content for PhiladelphiaNeighborhoods.com.  If you click through, you can see some of my work.

I'm looking forward to the end of school, which is finally in sight.  Nathaniel and I take breaks whenever we can, to remind ourselves that we're still young and we're in love and we're supposed to spend time together. It can be difficult with all of the assignments I'm trying to keep up with.  Fortunately last weekend we were able to spend four days tent-camping in beautiful West Virginia at my Aunt and Uncle's 14-acre plot.  It was a much-needed escape from everything else that's going on and we were so happy to be able to  go.  Tomorrow we are looking forward to driving to St. Tikhon's Monastery with our church for Memorial Day.  It will be the second time I've visited - the first was on our honeymoon.  We're very happy to be going.

Anyway, I should be going.  Happy Memorial Day to all - and thank you to the military troops who have served our country over the years.  I am grateful for your bravery and dedication.

P.S.  Black & White or Red & Cyan?  Which do you prefer?

Baby Gallery!

A friend of mine from Temple has an awesome gallery up at Cafe Twelve right now called Images of Cambodia.  The photos are really lovely - and I'm pretty sure they'll be up for about 2 more weeks, so if you want to check them out, be sure to go! (I bought one to hang in our new house!)

This got me thinking, though.  Maybe I should do a gallery of pregnancy and baby-themed photos to help raise money for our home birth.  The only downfall of home birth in many parts of the US is that it isn't covered by health insurance - can you believe that???  Women are practically forced to have their babies in hospitals!  Ok, I'll get off my soap box. =P

But anyway, paying for this birth is our biggest challenge right now.  We're looking into buying a little house for the three of us and have been putting away most of our income for our down-payment.  Little Smoosh is going to cost us roughly $3000, which is actually very inexpensive, but when it's all out of pocket and you're trying to buy a house, it's still a little difficult!  Every extra dollar that we make beyond what's already budgeted goes toward our darling little one.  Plus, we're planning to ask for donations instead of gifts at our baby shower (with a few exceptions) since so many people have generously offered us car seats, baby carriers, bassinets, furniture, clothing, etc. and there really isn't much else we need!

But what better way to raise money for our natural home birth than to have a gallery of pregnancy and baby pictures?  What do you think?  I think I'll start planning!

Portrait of Junior Year.

It's crazy to think that I'm so close to graduating.  I've been taking college courses since I was 14 and now it's starting to wind down.  Have I learned enough in my time here?  Have I taken advantage of every opportunity that was given me?  It's a little scary to think that in such a short amount of time I will be 'on my own' and expected to just run with it.

I'll hardly be underprepared.  Temple (read: Dr. Trayes) has been bootcamp for photojournalists.  I'm exhausted.  I hardly sleep.  I don't go out.  But my photography has improved, as has my ability to get the shot no matter what, to tell the story, to accomplish what I thought was impossible.  I've learned a lot about what I'm capable of.

I'm grateful for the experience.  I'm glad to know that I can work hard and achieve something difficult.  But I know that this isn't what I want for my life.  I love photography, I love the people I photograph, I love getting the story.  And there was a time when I would thrive off of the adrenaline.  These days, I dream about settling into a little home in the mountains with my husband and family and opening a cafe.  I dream about photographing my kids as they grow and learn things.  I want to document pregnancy and birth - I want to pursue the things I  care about.  I am worn out - I don't care about breaking news the way I do about family.


I'm homesick for something I've never known.  I'm longing for a place I've never really been.  I'm proud to know that I can work as hard as I have... but all I want is for life to slow down.

Street Sports and Smooches

First assignment in class this semester was street sports.  As it happened, my husband's second cousin was celebrating her 4th birthday and had been given a bright orange ball as a gift.  Shot #1 underway!

We left and drove over to a nearby basketball court for a few more shots, where everyone was really friendly and I talked to a guy who had actually been recruited by Temple's basketball team.  I hope it all works out for him, he was really nice.

On the way home there was a killer sunset and Nathaniel and I stopped to take a few pictures.  The one of us was taken together - I held the camera and he pressed the button.  Are we too cute or what....

And now, for something completely different.

Last night, Nathaniel and I had the pleasure of doing an engagement shoot with our wedding photographer, Faye Murman.  Faye is also a professional photojournalist and a teacher at Temple University.

We had so much fun!  The three of us wandered through the park where Nathaniel carved our initials on a tree so many months ago, wading through ivy and splashing in the creek.  Faye was an absolute joy to work with - she has a perfectly professional attitude and is constantly looking for unique and beautiful opportunities, but she keeps a laid back, friendly demeanor that makes it easy to open up and get good photos.

My time at Temple is teaching me a lot, but a great deal of it is not in a text book.  There is a lot of value to make your subjects feel comfortable - it allows you to get incredible photos like this one!
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(Photo belongs to Faye Murman and may be viewed on her Facebook page, which you can be come a fan of here!)

Exit Reality

There hasn't been much time for writing, lately.  It's finals week, and there has been a lot of work to get done.

Tomorrow, I'll be displaying and selling work at Temple's Main Campus from 3:00 to 8:00 in the Annenberg Atrium!

I have to admit, I'm looking forward to having a little break before Summer I starts up.  It's been a long and tiresome semester.  I've learned a lot of really valuable things thus far and I'm gaining a lot of really useful contacts, which is awesome.  But I'm looking forward to having a free few days to straighten up my apartment, work on the wedding plans and get a nap or two before it all starts up again.


Nathaniel and I went back to the Kimmel Center yesterday, where we were engaged.  The clouds were absolutely amazing and felt so close, standing up in the garden.  I had to take this photo - somehow this is just what I feel like right now.  I have so many things happening at once, I just want to open a door somewhere and walk into a cloud and absolute silence except for the whir of air going past my ears.  The semester will be done soon.  There is an end in sight.  I will survive!

Spring Fling

Well, despite the rain, wind, and cold, students and teachers alike were outside yesterday for Temple's annual Spring Fling.  There were tables lined up all along Liacouras Walk and musical guests, including N.E.R.D. and Girl Talk playing all day long and well into the night.  I wasn't there for most of it - I had class and homework that needed to get done, but I was able to go out and take a few pictures.


These two girls, Julianka Bell, a Psychology major, and Kristie Williams, an Advertising major, both seniors, were bundled up to keep warm but still managed to look fantastic.  They run a blog together, I encourage you all to check it out!

Baroque

So I've been doing a lot of shooting for Baroque.  Every first Friday at Liberties- 2nd and Fairmount.  It's been kind of cool to have a steady gig, working with a bunch of my friends.  That's got to be the best part.  It's been a lot of fun having this team of guys that all work together to throw an awesome shindig.  If you're in Philly on a Friday night, you should come out!

Nothing super special about this picture, I just liked it.  So there ya have it.

Finally all signed up for classes at Temple this fall.  I think I can complete the degree in two years- maybe three.  We'll see how it goes.  This is going to be a very challenging next little chunk of life, but I'm excited to see where it takes me.  Photojournalism, here I come!

Short one tonight, guys.  Hope you're all well.