Calendar Boy

January: Caesar

February: Painter

March: Irishman

April: Caterpillar

May: Farmer

June: Barber

July: Rocket

August: Pool Boy

September: Tom Sawyer

October: Buddhist Monk

November: Soldier

December: Shepherd

Part-time photographer; Full-time mama.

Yesterday I bundled my son up and put him in the moby my sister made for me. The entire time I was out taking photos for the gallery in March, he slept curled up against me. It was nice to get out and stretch my photography fingers, so to speak.

My little pear picker.

A friend from Temple showed me the coolest photographs by Adele Enerson, a series called "Mila's Daydreams." Every day for a year, this mother set up scenes around her baby after she'd fallen asleep. They are so creative. Of course now my mind is going off on the possibilities for Constantine and for other new babies. Giving credit where credit is due, I still believe imitation to be the greatest form of flattery!

That's all for now - and again, you can see more photos on my facebook!

Why Free Birth?

Following Constantine's arrival, I knew there would be questions about our decision to have an unassisted or "free" birth. I hope that writing this blog post helps answer many of those questions, but if you have others, feel free to leave a comment below and I will do my best to get back to you.

What is a free-birth?

            A free-birth is any birth where a doctor, nurse or midwife is not present. It is not necessarily a birth where the mother is alone or without support - many women choose to have their husbands or partners, good friends, a doula (an emotional, mental and physical support-person for women in labor) or their other children with them. Nathaniel and I chose to be the only people present, other than Constantine, at his birth.

Why not have a midwife?

            First, let me say that it was only after a great deal of research and reading a lot of personal testimonies that we decided to do this. I am a huge supporter of the practice of midwifery and have known some absolutely amazing midwives, including Christy Santoro, who provided us with prenatal care. The decision to have an unattended birth came from a lot of places - our belief that my body was capable of this, Nathaniel's own medical qualifications, a lot of research about complications and natural healing remedies, etc. But the main reason we chose for it to just be the two of us is because of the incredibly deep love and trust we share and because of the bond that led me to believe that my husband would do everything he could for me and that I would be at my absolute most relaxed and in-tune with my body in his presence, without the distractions of other people.

What do you do in an emergency?

            Much like a midwife-assisted home-birth, it's not typically recommended that high-risk pregnancies be delivered unassisted. Nathaniel and I agreed that the only way we would do this is if both Christy and I felt confident that I was in good health and that Constantine was in a good position. With that in mind, there are very few instances where a true medical emergency occurs during a peaceful, uninterrupted home-birth (Statistics and more on this are a different ball of yarn, please watch The Business of Being Born!!!). Nathaniel and I were prepared with disinfectants, anesthetics and sutures in case of tearing. We had a Vitamin K shot prepared for Constantine, in case of a difficult or traumatic birth. Also - and I'm amazed how many women don't know this - breastfeeding your baby immediately after birth significantly slows bleeding and helps the uterus to contract back to its pre-pregnant size. Nathaniel, who is a certified EMT and has extensive paramedic training as well, is qualified to administer Basic Life Support, obviously including adult and infant CPR. And in the event that something really went "wrong" - the car was ready for us to hop in and drive to the hospital.

How do you know if it's an emergency, without a midwife or doctor?

            Part of the mindset in a free-birth is fully trusting in the body's innate capability to give birth. Women are designed to do this - and often, the cause for difficult or exceptionally painful labor is rooted in a fear that literally shuts the body down and makes birth harder. Women have given birth in comas. Women who didn't even know they were pregnant have given birth while taking a bath at home. The first woman I spoke to about free-birth is such an inspiration to me - she was nineteen when her first baby was born. Her boyfriend was drunk and passed out on the couch and she delivered completely by herself. (She also dumped the boyfriend!!!) All of that is to say that our bodies, if we listen to them, tell us more than we realize. If something is wrong, it's intuitive. Positioning issues, such as breech, posterior or shoulder distocia babies, are rarely a cause for medical intervention - given patience and guidance, babies have been born with all of these issues and no complications. There are better and worse ways to stand/sit/kneel and to help the baby out for each of these, however. We did our homework on all of them.

How did we decide to have a free-birth?

            Toward the end of my first trimester, we started having problems with our midwife. It was very difficult to get in touch with her and we hadn't met for a prenatal appointment in far longer than we should have. There were personal reasons for that on her part, and I still would say she's a very talented midwife and has worked very well with others. All the same, Nathaniel and I realized that the dynamic between the three of us was not going to be the best fit for our birth.

            We started looking for other options in our area but were really discouraged when we found that midwives in Philadelphia are very expensive - and since we were already so far into the pregnancy, we'd have even less time to come up with the money to pay for one. There was only one birthing center with one non-guaranteed opening in October, and I really wanted to have a home-birth. Nathaniel half-jokingly said one day that we should just have the baby by ourselves. I wasn't really comfortable with the idea and so we continued looking for a midwife, trusting that God would provide the financial means for us to afford one. The idea of a free-birth as a possibility did start to develop in our minds, though, so we began doing more research.

            We were so happy when we found Christy Santoro - she is an incredible person who has been recognized for her achievements as an exceptional midwife. She also was very understanding of the stress we were under with our first midwife not working out. We were blessed to meet her, but by the time we had our first appointment, we had really started to embrace the idea of a free-birth. We asked Christy how she felt about meeting with us for prenatal appointments only. A lot of midwives aren't comfortable with this sort of agreement - obviously if something happens, they don't want any liability issues. The practice of midwifery is under so much undue scrutiny right now, it is a completely understandable concern, so we agreed that we would not mention her name if we needed to go to a hospital.

            Many of the same ideas for a midwife-attended birth apply to a free-birth. A natural home-birth was so important to us for a myriad of reasons. That aspect is a whole other topic, though, and if you'd like to learn more about it I cannot recommend strongly enough that you start by watching The Business of Being Born. If you have Netflix, it streams instantly. I was born at home and, being raised in a family that supported home birth, I have spent years of my life learning about its benefits. Some choose not to have a natural home birth and that is a decision I completely respect. But I do urge you to learn more about it.

            We met with Christy on a regular basis to gauge Constantine's progress - everything was normal. We also focused on nutrition and home exercises that help keep the baby in the right position and the pelvic bones aligned correctly. Visiting chiropractor, Dr. Ohm, was a huge help with this. If you're skeptical about the effectiveness of these home exercises, ask Nathaniel to tell you about how he flipped our baby from breech into a correct vertex position by talking to my belly! Or I'll happily tell you about how I could literally barely walk because of pelvic pain until we visited Dr. Ohm. I learned that spending several minutes every night before bed resting on my hands and knees and relaxing my spine could completely eliminate the problem.

Why didn't we tell people before he was born?

            I do hope you'll all forgive us for keeping this information from you but I hope you'll understand the reasons why. It has been fairly easy for me to write this four-page FAQ about our decision and to post it on my blog where it is universally accessible. It wouldn't have been as easy to answer these questions repeatedly, every time someone new asked them, though. More than anything, however, it was because free-birth relies largely on the mother's ability to relax, empty her mind of outside concerns and trust her body. Telling people about this decision before Constantine's birth would have inevitably opened us up to a barrage of questions, concerns and the imposition of other people's fears - none of which I mean to belittle or discredit. I simply hope that you understand how important it was for us to have as little of that in the back of our minds as possible as we approached this.

I hope this has answered your questions about Constantine's birth. If you have other questions, feel free to leave a comment. Thank you!

Waiting.

Less than two weeks until my due date and every day feels like its own eternity. I can't wait to meet our little man - and on top of that, I can't wait to not be carrying around a beach ball with me everywhere I go! Skinny jeans, I will fit in you again!!!!

While I'm waiting for Constantine's arrival, I did have a lot of fun taking baby pictures a little while ago. What an adorable little girl!!! Have I mentioned I love taking baby pictures?

Well, me and my beach ball belly have been making use of the wireless internet at a diner down the road from the cottage but they're about to close, so it's time for me to head out. It's a lovely day for a walk - maybe I'll give birth on the side of the road next to some cows.... ha!

Baby Portraits, Misty Days and Tiny Hats.

 I am falling completely in love with our new home in Oley. Every morning when I wake up I am blown away by the incredible beauty surrounding us. Yesterday I took some photos of the house and the land around it to show the folks back home - but seriously, it is like this every day. I feel like I'm in a fairy tale.

Today I am very excited to be doing some baby portraits for one of my dad's co-workers. I absolutely love baby portraits - and it'll be fun, so close to the birth of my own son, to get some ideas.

A woman from an online writing community I go to took it upon herself to knit several hats for Constantine. I am constantly amazed at how kind and thoughtful people can be - these hats are so sweet and they're different sizes, so he'll be warm as he grows! I bundled them all up in my arms when I got them and just spent a moment thinking about how adorable he'll be. I'll be 37 weeks on Monday - time is going by so quickly. I can't wait to meet him...

Snapshots from a life that keeps moving.

I promised my mom I would take some photos of progress moving into our new home. There's still a lot of unpacking and cleaning to do but it's all coming along nicely. This is our living room - and yes, it's purple!!! And yes, our kitchen is green! I told Nathaniel that being able to paint is the difference between renting a place and having a home. I am so happy with our new little haven, I can't even express it. Today we drove past horses and cows to get to the main road - it was so beautiful.

I have probably been driving my poor husband up a wall now for weeks, worrying about whether or not I would have the things I need in time for Constantine's birth. You would think with all of the last-minute miracles that have been occurring in our lives I'd be more inclined to relax and trust that things will work out - and of course they did. Today my sister threw the most lovely baby shower at my mom's house. It was really fun to get all of these adorable things for Constantine but honestly, it was just really nice to be with family and some people I hadn't seen in a long, long time.

Nathaniel and I received so many beautiful gifts for our new baby, all of which were precious and which we love. But I have to say, I very nearly started crying after seeing part of my Aunt Lisa's gift - a onesie with little owls printed on it. My grandmother, Omi, collected owls - figurines, artwork, etc. When she was sick and knew that she didn't have much time left, she had everyone in the family choose one of her owls. I chose a little stone carving of one, about 4" - and I've had it for over a decade now. I was eleven when my grandmother died but I loved her very much. That onesie was just so perfect. It's amazing how something so simple can hold such significance!

We are done housesitting on Tuesday and then we are fully transitioning to Oley, PA. I am looking forward to things quieting down and getting settled into our little stone cottage on the farm. Life is going so quickly - I hope I catch it all!

Insomnia.

The last several weeks I've had a near impossible time getting a full night's sleep. I wake up in the night feeling like every muscle in my body has been beaten up and it's just very difficult to get through the night.

The upside to this, I suppose, is that I have time at odd hours to do things - like edit photos.

We will be done housesitting in less than two weeks now and then we'll be completely transitioning into our new home. There's a lot to get done between now and then and I think that, coupled with the stress of making sure everything is ready for Constantine's birth have been contributing factors to my lack of sleep, as well. Coming from someone who obsessively makes lists and tries to organize every minute detail of everything, surprises and the great unknown are not on my list of favorites!!!

I'm looking forward to working with my talented friend, Hillary Petrozziello in the near future. Hillary and I went to Temple together and I've always really admired the way she sees things artistically. It'll be fun to let someone else's artistic vision of what my pregnancy looks like take a different spin on things. I'll keep y'all posted.

Milestones

A lot has happened since I last wrote. I'm 34 weeks pregnant today - which means Constantine is going to be making his debut appearance very, very soon!

Nathaniel and I just signed the lease for our absolute dream home - a stone cottage on a 200-acre organic farm. The owners of the farm rent out the cottage and the *enormous* garden next to it for an unbelievable price, and since Nathaniel found work in the area, we are officially moving to Berks County!

I also confirmed today with an old friend of mine that I will be shooting her wedding next summer. I'm honestly so happy - weddings are such a happy occasion to begin with, but this particular couple is so perfect for each other, I'm just so excited that they're getting married and that I get to be there!

In a week and a half I've got a baby-pictures session with one of my dad's co-workers. I'm really excited about this too, because as you've all probably figured out by now, I think babies are pretty much the most wonderful people ever.

On top of all of that, I just picked out paint colors with my sister for the new house and we've got to start moving in and making sure we're all ready for Constantine's home birth. 34 weeks is a good milestone, but it also means that he could really come any time now and we want to be prepared!

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P.S. I don't know why the color is desaturated in these photos but they look much better on my Facebook.

To have and to hold.

Nathaniel and I celebrated our first year of marriage on Monday. This photo was taken just days after we started dating - it's amazing to me how completely in love we already were. We just "knew" - and that was enough.

To celebrate the year, we headed off to West Virginia and spent three days on a hilltop, sleeping in a straw-bale house, making breakfast over a fire and looking out at the incredible stars that are so difficult to see in Philadelphia.

Constantine is getting stronger every day. He is a little over 32 weeks now and the past few days I've been waking up really early with a contraction - I get one or two of them a day now, it seems. These are pretty normal 'getting ready' contractions - not actual labor. But it definitely feels strange when my entire belly becomes this solid mass, like a literal watermelon is hanging out in there!

The calm before the storm.

This morning breakfast looked serene, as odd as that sounds. So I decided to take a picture. I need to keep my iron levels up, so I had cream of wheat with some fresh raspberries and blueberries and a light drizzle of honey. It was delicious.

Today at 5:30 I submitted the very last assignment needed to officially be done school. Not for the summer, not for the semester. I'm just... done. Considering I've been taking college classes since I was 14, this actually feels very strange. I think I'm happy. At the same time, though, I've always been used to having another semester to look forward to, another class to take. I love learning. I've had some really awful teachers over the years, but the good ones have made up for it, every time. Everyone is telling me that I'll have my hands full in two months and I know it's true - little Constantine is going to take up my whole world and I am impatiently waiting to finally meet him and give him a thousand and one kisses. It just feels strange to be done with one part of life and moving on to another.

This last semester I had to take a TV Broadcast News course in order to fulfill a surprise last-minute Journalism degree requirement- something I was not looking forward to. I kept thinking great, I'll be six and seven months pregnant with this huge basketball sticking out where my abs should be, all puffy-faced and hormonal and I'll have to be on video - somewhere I am not usually very comfortable being. There's a reason I'm pursuing photography and why I quit modeling all those years ago.

Oh me of little faith - I was surprised once more by the good that can come from an unexpected situation. My teacher, Denise James, was absolutely wonderful. Not only was she a wealth of knowledge on the topic of story presentation and the newsroom, she was just an inspiring, kind person.

I had pretty much resigned myself to graduating with this degree and never really using it - I mean, I have every intention of continuing with photography, but my degree says "Journalism" and I'm, well, about to have a baby. I can't exactly work for National Geographic right now. Professor James encouraged me to find ways to continue working with what I'm passionate about (you all know, that's pretty much babies, home birth and "natural mommy" stuff). And I think I'm going to do it.

A statement.

This is my favorite person.

Right now I don't really have anything else to say.

Not easily broken.

The past two weeks have been a difficult time for me. In one week I will be done my BFA at Temple and it only just hit me on Tuesday how I can use this degree in journalism to my advantage as a stay-at-home mom.

I'm thinking about starting a new YouTube channel focusing on home birth. I have all of the equipment I need to conduct video interviews and take photos and if I haven't learned how to write an article by now I've been wasting my time. It could be more casual, more intimate than a news outlet, not so structured. But a consistent, maybe once weekly or twice monthly video interview with someone who has something to contribute to the natural birth world. It wouldn't even always have to deal directly with home birth - there are so many "Mommy" related things to talk about and I know I'm about to be introduced to a whole new world of them when Constantine arrives.

I have found that this is what I'm passionate about. This is what I love. I'd like to do something with it.

The past few days, I have been glad for the reminder that even in difficult times, a cord of three strands is not easily broken. I have my husband and I have God loving me through every single day, no matter how hard it gets. I'm thankful for that gift.

Oh Baby!

Boy-oh-boy, what an unusual week I've had. Yesterday, Nathaniel and I drove to South Philly for my first prenatal chiropractic appointment. Can I just say that it is SO NICE to hear someone on any level of a medical profession say "I am completely supportive of your decision to have a home birth." Many, many brownie points for Dr. Ohm!!!

After my appointment, I am feeling so much better. I was given some great tips to help keep myself aligned and give the baby maximum room to grow. Very exciting!

On Wednesday, I shot a news package for school on home birth. My sister was kind enough to lend me her input (and also b-roll of her adorable children). You can check out the end result here! The closer I get to this baby being born, it's just about all I can think about. I am so ridiculously impatient to be a mommy!!!!!

Now introducing my ridiculously awesome brother.

Sunday night, my dad and I went to see my brother play bass for the band he recently joined. It was a lot of fun and so cool to see my brother up on stage. I'm so amazed by how talented he is - bass isn't even his main instrument, he just picked it up one day because he felt like it. Anyone who has ever heard me play guitar will tell you that my brother got just about all of the musical talent in our family! Well, Georgia's got it too, but Doug can seriously play just about anything he picks up.

I brought my camera out just for fun. It's been a while since I did 'band photography' - mainly I stick with documentary portraits these days. But it was fun to do something different.

To check out my brother's band, go to The Michael Stoutenger Band facebook page. And to see the rest of the photos from last night, check out my facebook page!

Spread The Word!

If you'd like to share Alexis Ryan Photography with your friends, family, or random people on the street (haha), let me know! I operate mostly by referral but I'm happy to give a little stack of business cards and/or flyers to anyone who would like to spread the word!


Also, be sure to like me on Facebook! I update that more often than the blog!

Constantine is 24-and-a-half weeks big!

It's been a little while since I've done a professional shoot, but I'm keeping my skills nice and practiced with a ton of Temple assignments and every-day life. School has kept me pretty busy, but this semester shouldn't be too bad and then in August I am DONE!

Now that we have finally found out the gender of our baby and seen his perfect, sweet little face, I am so impatient to meet him. I couldn't believe how breathtakingly beautiful he is. I know every mother must feel this way, but I am convinced there has never been a more amazing baby. I want to meet him so badly!

Nathaniel jokes that I have to remember to take care of the baby in between all the inevitable photos I will be taking of him. Oh man, that baby will be used to the sight of a camera, that's for sure!

Constantine, we love you so much. We can't wait to hold you and give you kisses!

Constantine Ryan

WE'RE HAVING A BOY!!!!!!! He is so little and perfect and sweet, I'm so in love.

A hundred pieces.

The first time I felt the baby move I was so astonished by the experience I almost cried. It was just this tiny little push that reminded me that there is a viable little person inside of me. Amazing.

These days, Smoosh moves around a lot. Those tiny little movements aren't quite so small anymore - sometimes they're not too bad but other times I start to think "Knock it off in there, or you're grounded!"

As of last night, I am finished all of my assignments for PhiladelphiaNeighborhoods. It was a long, difficult semester for me and although I met a lot of really awesome people, I'm glad that it's over. It was very frustrating and difficult for me to exert myself so physically for such long hours, knowing that it wasn't good for the baby or for me. We both needed to be resting a lot more than we were able.

I've felt like I haven't really had time to be myself or to get to know my changing body or the little one we're waiting to meet because of the demands of school. I have always been determined to finish my BFA and am proud of myself for being one step closer (two more classes this Summer II semester and then it's over) but I have really been longing to have more time to prepare for Smoosh. I feel like I've been torn into a hundred different directions and although I know which direction is most important to me, I haven't been able to pursue it. I'm very tired and I feel like I've neglected my child by overexerting myself for class. I don't like it.

I just keep looking to the end of the summer when I'm done school and I can spend some time with my husband and my baby bump.

RuNett Nia Ebo

The last few weeks have been quite the learning experience. I have had the pleasure of meeting a variety of interesting people whose dedication to the community has really been astonishing.

Leola B.C. Highsmith, who runs a seven-days a week operation out of Grace Baptist Church of Germantown, helps to make sure over a hundred families in the area are fed each week, and that their children are given after-school activities and a safe place to go.

Reverend Kevin Porter hosts a monthly coffee house open mic out of the First Presbyterian Church in Germantown where locals are encouraged to connect with their creative side.

But I have felt no closer sense of connection than with Germantown's poet, RuNett Nia Ebo. RuNett and I had the opportunity to meet for the second time on Tuesday and get a great interview (which you can view here). It's been a while since I've written a good poem, but I completely connected with her theory that poetry can help us to deal with pain. So much of what she said resounded with me as I remembered how I used writing therapeutically as a child and even still today, with this blog and to some degree, with my facebook page.

Moral of the story: I may be working my butt off for this class, but I am meeting some fantastic people along the way!

20 Weeks.

It's taken long enough, but a photo gallery is finally in the works. It's kind of funny to me that my passion was so firmly rooted in pregnancy and birth photography before I ever became pregnant. These last several months have been a really amazing affirmation that this is what I want to be doing. I love our baby - I love this 'mommy' feeling that's growing and developing with this little person inside of me. It's such a surreal, truly incredible experience. This photo was taken today - I'm officially 20 weeks pregnant. Five months, how did that happen???

Stay tuned for details on this gallery! Every penny will be going towards the cost of a natural home birth, which is not covered by insurance. Incidentally, all compensation for my photography services currently is being allocated for this purpose as well. So if you have an event coming up - a wedding, a birthday party, an award ceremony, anything - or if you'd just like some up-to-date family photos, be sure to let me know!

Memorial Day, taking breaks and why I haven't written lately!

It's been pretty busy around here the past few weeks.  Normally I enjoy all the activity but lately I've just wanted things to be slow and relaxed - surprise, surprise!  Despite a hectic schedule, very little sleep and a lot of running around, Nathaniel and I have been enjoying the excitement and wonder that comes with my ever-expanding belly. Two weeks ago I felt the baby push against my hand - it was unbelievable. I'm feeling healthy, for the most part, and more and more aware of all the things Nathaniel and I will be able to share with our little one when they arrive. We've started reading Frog and Toad to 'Smoosh' - which I love.

In fulfillment of my last 'big' Temple class before graduation this August (YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!) I've been writing/shooting photos/video/editing stories and content for PhiladelphiaNeighborhoods.com.  If you click through, you can see some of my work.

I'm looking forward to the end of school, which is finally in sight.  Nathaniel and I take breaks whenever we can, to remind ourselves that we're still young and we're in love and we're supposed to spend time together. It can be difficult with all of the assignments I'm trying to keep up with.  Fortunately last weekend we were able to spend four days tent-camping in beautiful West Virginia at my Aunt and Uncle's 14-acre plot.  It was a much-needed escape from everything else that's going on and we were so happy to be able to  go.  Tomorrow we are looking forward to driving to St. Tikhon's Monastery with our church for Memorial Day.  It will be the second time I've visited - the first was on our honeymoon.  We're very happy to be going.

Anyway, I should be going.  Happy Memorial Day to all - and thank you to the military troops who have served our country over the years.  I am grateful for your bravery and dedication.

P.S.  Black & White or Red & Cyan?  Which do you prefer?

Happy Mother's Day!

I am very grateful to be at a point in my life where my mom and I are getting closer.  Growing up, I certainly gave her a long list of problems - it's only been recently that I've started looking back and going "Oh wow, I was a real pain!"  More than ever, I am beginning to appreciate how much my mom has done for me over the years.

The other day I was at my parent's house and I looked over at this bookshelf in the living room where my mom and dad have started putting pictures of our family.  I realized more than half the photos were taken by me, all at different stages in my 'photographic career'.  There's one I remember taking in my old room on Ditman Street - over five years ago.

My mom has been the biggest supporter of my creative endeavors, period.  We haven't always agreed on my 'artistic interpretations' but I have always been able to count on her to give me her honest, thoughtful opinion.

I thank God that He has given me the mom that I have.  I love her so much and I am thankful for her presence in my life.

Thank you, Mumsy.

Baby Gallery!

A friend of mine from Temple has an awesome gallery up at Cafe Twelve right now called Images of Cambodia.  The photos are really lovely - and I'm pretty sure they'll be up for about 2 more weeks, so if you want to check them out, be sure to go! (I bought one to hang in our new house!)

This got me thinking, though.  Maybe I should do a gallery of pregnancy and baby-themed photos to help raise money for our home birth.  The only downfall of home birth in many parts of the US is that it isn't covered by health insurance - can you believe that???  Women are practically forced to have their babies in hospitals!  Ok, I'll get off my soap box. =P

But anyway, paying for this birth is our biggest challenge right now.  We're looking into buying a little house for the three of us and have been putting away most of our income for our down-payment.  Little Smoosh is going to cost us roughly $3000, which is actually very inexpensive, but when it's all out of pocket and you're trying to buy a house, it's still a little difficult!  Every extra dollar that we make beyond what's already budgeted goes toward our darling little one.  Plus, we're planning to ask for donations instead of gifts at our baby shower (with a few exceptions) since so many people have generously offered us car seats, baby carriers, bassinets, furniture, clothing, etc. and there really isn't much else we need!

But what better way to raise money for our natural home birth than to have a gallery of pregnancy and baby pictures?  What do you think?  I think I'll start planning!

Thirteen weeks - and two days!

Smoosh is thirteen weeks and two days old today!  It's so exciting to learn about how our tiny one is growing and developing - so much is happening right now!

I promised one of my oldest friends that I would take some current belly pictures - there really isn't much of a belly to show off yet, but you can see a tiny little bump.  It was a fantastic day for taking photos - sunny and warm and beautiful!  I took these while Nathaniel was replacing the brake pads on our car over in Jersey.  I didn't have a tripod with me so I propped my camera up on a lawn furniture table with my phone and the lens cap under the lens.  Necessity is the mother of all invention!

I'm enjoying some rest now after walking around the neighborhood and describing things to Smoosh.  I can't wait until he or she can see these things in real life - there is a lot of beauty in this world.

I hope everyone else had a lovely day!  I'm off to enjoy the rest of mine. =)

Heartbeats.

These last few weeks have seen a lot of changes for the Ryan family.  We're excited to be nearing the end of our lease and to be spending two months house-sitting for a relative in a beautiful little nook near Abington (I'll be able to walk to Whole Foods!!!).  After that, we're not sure what the future holds, but we've been considering our options for a while now.

Two weeks ago we went to our first pre-natal appointment and heard the baby's heartbeat.  It was the most astonishingly beautiful moment - I could hardly believe it.  But there was the sound - the rapid beating of a tiny little heart in a tiny little body.

Today I am thirteen weeks pregnant!  Wow, time has flown by so quickly.  I think I'm getting some of my energy back, but I'm also SO hungry all the time - and if I don't eat right away I quickly become nauseous, which is really frustrating.  I'm trying to stay on top of eating lots of good fruits, vegetables, proteins, dairy, etc., and getting my vitamins.  But it's more work than I ever thought it could be.  I'm worn out just from trying to keep up with eating!  I never thought I'd say that!

Even so, with all the changes, I am happy to be carrying this little one.  I am growing more and more in love every day.  I can't wait for this summer when I can totally rock my beach-ball belly!

Newborns and Natural Environments

The shoot on Saturday went really well!  I have to admit, I got distracted a few times just watching this beautiful, newborn baby - she was absolutely wonderful.

It's always a gamble taking pictures of smaller children.  If they're having a bad day or they're shy, getting that beaming smile they're known for can be a little challenging.  That's partially why I prefer to come to people's homes to work - it's the same principle as home-birth, really.  I want everyone to be as comfortable as they can be, and I want to be on their turf, not mine.

Fortunately, the two adorable little boys weren't shy at all.  They were giggling, smiling and showing off the whole time.  In the end, I had a really enjoyable experience just being around three such sweet children and spending some time with their parents, who both I and my husband love, before they move out of Philly.

It was a good day!
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P.S.  To see more photos from this shoot and others, be sure to check out (and Like!) my FaceBook Page!!!

Everything is new.

Today I get to do something I really enjoy - baby pictures!  I love weddings, I love documenting the joy of that day for two people.  But really, one of my favorite things in the world is baby pictures.  (I am so impatient to start taking pictures of our Smoosh!!!)

Everything is new to babies.  It's such an amazing part of life, when you're tiny and experiencing everything for the first time.  I just can't get over how awesome that is.

I'm glad to be able to take these pictures for friends of ours from church.  They're leaving Philly soon and I'll miss their family a lot.  Both parents have been so encouraging and friendly to us and have even given a lot of valuable advice to Nathaniel as he's studying in paramedic school.  And, needless to say, their children are absolutely adorable.

Well, I'll be heading out in a minute so I've got to go.  Have a lovely day, everyone!

Waiting for our Smoosh.

Well, the days are moving forward until we get to meet our little one.  The first day back from Spring Break was a little rough, but I'm glad to know that all of the classes I need to graduate from Temple are signed up for and God willing, I will be totally done this August!  Plenty of time to rest up and prepare for our little smoosh to join us.

Each day is a new adventure for us, it's great.  We are constantly wondering at how incredibly happy we are together!  The perception of marriage, especially in America, seems so hopeless, pointless.  We have both experienced many examples of this since last August - but it's still a surprise, somehow, to realize that we may actually be an exception to a norm.  We are hopelessly in love.  We love being together.  We are overjoyed for this little life we've created together and we are excited to get to know them.

I had a really pleasant surprise the other day - my mom told me that an old friend of the family found out about my pregnancy by reading this blog, which she follows regularly.  I have a reader!  I have at the very least, one whole reader!  Yay!!!

I know that the tone of this blog has changed a bit since I started it.  It used to be predominately directly photography related writing, and lately it has had more of a personal feeling.  Things in my life are changing - priorities, passions, interests.  I am finding more and more that the things that make me happiest are in my home, so you'll have to pardon me if I end up writing about them more often!  =)

Congratulations, Mr. & Mrs. Dennery!

Saturday was a big day for me!  Nathaniel and I got up around 6:45 to get ready for our trip to Washington D.C. where we attended the vow-renewal ceremony of my cousin and her husband.  The service was absolutely beautiful and although I promised I wouldn't lose it, I did start crying halfway through!

We couldn't stay after the service because we had to get back home to Philly in time to shoot an old friend's wedding.  If Saturday was a big day for me, just think - Alyssa and Ted got married!

What a beautiful couple.  I don't think I'll ever get tired of shooting weddings - I love seeing the happiness and joy that two people share together.  Alyssa and Ted were absolutely glowing all day, it was amazing.  I was so honored to be able to document this big day in their lives!

Very Big News!

There is some very, very, very big news in our world these days - Nathaniel and I found out on Monday that we are going to have a baby!!!!!

We are incredibly happy and excited and we can't wait to meet this new person.  They've only existed for a few short weeks and already I'm hopelessly in love with them.  We actually planned to try the night before the March for Life - it seemed appropriate.  So we are just indescribably happy to know that there is a life growing right now and it's our responsibility to love and take care of him or her.

Do you want to know how we broke the news to our parents and siblings?  Check out this video!