To have and to hold.

Nathaniel and I celebrated our first year of marriage on Monday. This photo was taken just days after we started dating - it's amazing to me how completely in love we already were. We just "knew" - and that was enough.

To celebrate the year, we headed off to West Virginia and spent three days on a hilltop, sleeping in a straw-bale house, making breakfast over a fire and looking out at the incredible stars that are so difficult to see in Philadelphia.

Constantine is getting stronger every day. He is a little over 32 weeks now and the past few days I've been waking up really early with a contraction - I get one or two of them a day now, it seems. These are pretty normal 'getting ready' contractions - not actual labor. But it definitely feels strange when my entire belly becomes this solid mass, like a literal watermelon is hanging out in there!

The calm before the storm.

This morning breakfast looked serene, as odd as that sounds. So I decided to take a picture. I need to keep my iron levels up, so I had cream of wheat with some fresh raspberries and blueberries and a light drizzle of honey. It was delicious.

Today at 5:30 I submitted the very last assignment needed to officially be done school. Not for the summer, not for the semester. I'm just... done. Considering I've been taking college classes since I was 14, this actually feels very strange. I think I'm happy. At the same time, though, I've always been used to having another semester to look forward to, another class to take. I love learning. I've had some really awful teachers over the years, but the good ones have made up for it, every time. Everyone is telling me that I'll have my hands full in two months and I know it's true - little Constantine is going to take up my whole world and I am impatiently waiting to finally meet him and give him a thousand and one kisses. It just feels strange to be done with one part of life and moving on to another.

This last semester I had to take a TV Broadcast News course in order to fulfill a surprise last-minute Journalism degree requirement- something I was not looking forward to. I kept thinking great, I'll be six and seven months pregnant with this huge basketball sticking out where my abs should be, all puffy-faced and hormonal and I'll have to be on video - somewhere I am not usually very comfortable being. There's a reason I'm pursuing photography and why I quit modeling all those years ago.

Oh me of little faith - I was surprised once more by the good that can come from an unexpected situation. My teacher, Denise James, was absolutely wonderful. Not only was she a wealth of knowledge on the topic of story presentation and the newsroom, she was just an inspiring, kind person.

I had pretty much resigned myself to graduating with this degree and never really using it - I mean, I have every intention of continuing with photography, but my degree says "Journalism" and I'm, well, about to have a baby. I can't exactly work for National Geographic right now. Professor James encouraged me to find ways to continue working with what I'm passionate about (you all know, that's pretty much babies, home birth and "natural mommy" stuff). And I think I'm going to do it.

A statement.

This is my favorite person.

Right now I don't really have anything else to say.

Not easily broken.

The past two weeks have been a difficult time for me. In one week I will be done my BFA at Temple and it only just hit me on Tuesday how I can use this degree in journalism to my advantage as a stay-at-home mom.

I'm thinking about starting a new YouTube channel focusing on home birth. I have all of the equipment I need to conduct video interviews and take photos and if I haven't learned how to write an article by now I've been wasting my time. It could be more casual, more intimate than a news outlet, not so structured. But a consistent, maybe once weekly or twice monthly video interview with someone who has something to contribute to the natural birth world. It wouldn't even always have to deal directly with home birth - there are so many "Mommy" related things to talk about and I know I'm about to be introduced to a whole new world of them when Constantine arrives.

I have found that this is what I'm passionate about. This is what I love. I'd like to do something with it.

The past few days, I have been glad for the reminder that even in difficult times, a cord of three strands is not easily broken. I have my husband and I have God loving me through every single day, no matter how hard it gets. I'm thankful for that gift.