Longwood Gardens & Stevie Wonder

 On the 27th, Nathaniel and I visited Longwood Gardens with Nathaniel's mom and step-dad.  It had been years since I last visited and there was a dreamworld-nostalgia at every turn.


It was a very cold night and the wind was whipping snow up into our faces, so we spent most of the time inside, where the Christmas tour had me convinced that every room was the most beautiful.

It's so important to have beauty in your life.  I was fortunate to be raised by parents who understood this value.  From a young age I was exposed to a variety of art classes and spent a lot of time at home creating sketches and various crafts.


My parents had a modest collection of paintings, charcoal drawings and sculptures around the house.  Even the polished, deep honey-colored floorboards or the hand-made cabinets that my dad worked on were an affirmation that the human soul needs beautiful things.

When I moved out of my parent's home, I lived for a while in a poor neighborhood in West Philadelphia.  My apartment was on top of a nail salon and constantly smelled of polishes and chemicals.  Looking out through the bars on my living-room window I could see the pub across the street where middle-aged men and women danced slowly to the sounds of The Supremes or Stevie Wonder, long into the night.  I used to take the bars off the window when my roommates weren't awake and balance in the old wood frame, just listening to cars go by while Signed, Sealed, Delivered wafted from the open door across the road.


I have carried some things with me from the room I grew up in all the way to the little home I have today with my husband.  Little trinkets, seemingly meaningless.  Things that are beautiful to me.  They help me remember that my soul has been fortunate.  Even above the nail salon at 2 am in West Philly, I still was able to find Stevie Wonder.

The water front.

It's life, Jim, but not as we know it.

I am happy.  Fully, completely, beautifully happy.

I had a chat the other day with an old friend from my modeling days.  It made me realize I'm the one who has changed.  I felt so empty in front of the camera.  Just standing there - faking expressions, feelings, ideas.  Inventing false realities.  This self-obsessed world that is thoroughly saturated with vanity and entitlement.  I lived in that world but I didn't belong.  I was so lonely, so empty.

And now I'm with Nathaniel. I'm pursuing the things that make me happy, and he supports me like no other. I'm photographing what I love.  Real life.  Things make sense now.

This is what I want.

This is what I want.  No lights.  No backdrop.  No poses.  Just people the way they are - which is more than enough.

I have fallen completely and hopelessly in love with this part of life.  Pregnancy is beautiful, birth is empowering, children are innocent.


I want to show this.  Nothing staged. Nothing fake.  Just honest reality, which is more breathtaking than anything else in the world.

I love this baby more than I can express.

Halloween

We didn't make much of a habit of dressing up for Halloween when we were kids.  There were a few times, sure.  But it wasn't something we focused on.  I do remember a photo of my sister and I on the front porch, though, from when I was maybe six years old.  She was dressed as a fairy princess and I was a clown with big, painted cheeks and a poofy green wig.

Last year, I had a blast walking around my parent's neighborhood with my two wonderful nieces.  This year, they were trick-or-treating in my brother-in-law's parent's neighborhood, and my husband and I had other plans.  I wasn't able to go out with them, but I did get to take a few quick photos on the front porch before they left. =)

Portrait of Junior Year.

It's crazy to think that I'm so close to graduating.  I've been taking college courses since I was 14 and now it's starting to wind down.  Have I learned enough in my time here?  Have I taken advantage of every opportunity that was given me?  It's a little scary to think that in such a short amount of time I will be 'on my own' and expected to just run with it.

I'll hardly be underprepared.  Temple (read: Dr. Trayes) has been bootcamp for photojournalists.  I'm exhausted.  I hardly sleep.  I don't go out.  But my photography has improved, as has my ability to get the shot no matter what, to tell the story, to accomplish what I thought was impossible.  I've learned a lot about what I'm capable of.

I'm grateful for the experience.  I'm glad to know that I can work hard and achieve something difficult.  But I know that this isn't what I want for my life.  I love photography, I love the people I photograph, I love getting the story.  And there was a time when I would thrive off of the adrenaline.  These days, I dream about settling into a little home in the mountains with my husband and family and opening a cafe.  I dream about photographing my kids as they grow and learn things.  I want to document pregnancy and birth - I want to pursue the things I  care about.  I am worn out - I don't care about breaking news the way I do about family.


I'm homesick for something I've never known.  I'm longing for a place I've never really been.  I'm proud to know that I can work as hard as I have... but all I want is for life to slow down.

First breath after a coma.

On Saturday, Nathaniel and I headed down to the Schuylkill River between Chestnut and Market to see the art display by Meejin Yoon.  I wasn't sure, at first, what I'd think of the ninety glowing spheres in the river - they seemed like kind of a strange project and I didn't really 'get it'.


Arriving at the river, however, my mind was instantly changed.  There was something so beautiful and serene about the lights in the water.  A row of matching seats activated the changing lights every time someone sat in them.


It was honestly one of the prettiest things I've seen in a long time.


The video is kind of tiny and hard to see here, but you can check out a larger version here.

Camden Catholic Homecoming 2010

On Friday, Nathaniel and I visited his old high school to photograph the homecoming game.  It was such a throwback in time to see all these teenage kids hanging out by the field on the weekend.  There was some really awesome team energy going on - all in all a great time!


To view more photos from the game, click here!

It rained today.

Danielle & Mark

I have finally finished editing wedding photos.


Now I can get back to homework.

Matt for PA.

On Sunday I took pictures Matt Franchetti's campaign at Smoke Eaters Pub in Holmesburg, Philadelphia.  There was a good turn out and I think a lot of money was raised for the brand new candidate for PA State Representative.


More photos from the event can be seen on Matt's facebook page.  His website isn't up and running quite yet but it will be soon.

Sunset and the moments after.

Nathaniel and I took some pictures together last night.  It makes me so happy to see his interest in photography developing and to watch him learn.  I have the most amazing husband in the world.


My photos:

My husband's photos:

Street Sports and Smooches

First assignment in class this semester was street sports.  As it happened, my husband's second cousin was celebrating her 4th birthday and had been given a bright orange ball as a gift.  Shot #1 underway!

We left and drove over to a nearby basketball court for a few more shots, where everyone was really friendly and I talked to a guy who had actually been recruited by Temple's basketball team.  I hope it all works out for him, he was really nice.

On the way home there was a killer sunset and Nathaniel and I stopped to take a few pictures.  The one of us was taken together - I held the camera and he pressed the button.  Are we too cute or what....

Man and wife!

I'm officially Alexis Ryan, at long last.  August 22nd, 2010!  Our photographer will be sending us pictures soon and I'll share a few.

My husband and I had the pleasure of shooting a wedding together the day after we got home from our honeymoon, which went beautifully.  And school is back in session, so I'll be busy with editing, homework, and life as a wife!

Despite all that, I'll do my best to keep you updated on here.  This upcoming Sunday I'll be photographing Matt Franchetti at Smoke Eater's - he's campaigning for Republican PA State Representative, so if you're registered in the area, make sure you get out and vote!

Teddy.

I've known Alyssa almost all my life.  When we were little, I used to go to her house and sneak soda because we weren't allowed to have any at my house (sorry, Mom!).  Over the years we've been in and out of touch, so I was excited to hear just over a year ago that Alyssa was going to be a mommy!


Last Friday I had the joy of catching up and meeting both Teddy and his dad.  Teddy is such a sweet, happy baby, and both of his parents are obviously head over heels in love with the new addition to their family.  It was a pleasure to work with them, and to see how much Alyssa has grown up since the days of soda espionage.


The more happy moms with happy babies I take pictures of, the more I know that this is what I want to do.

And now, for something completely different.

Last night, Nathaniel and I had the pleasure of doing an engagement shoot with our wedding photographer, Faye Murman.  Faye is also a professional photojournalist and a teacher at Temple University.

We had so much fun!  The three of us wandered through the park where Nathaniel carved our initials on a tree so many months ago, wading through ivy and splashing in the creek.  Faye was an absolute joy to work with - she has a perfectly professional attitude and is constantly looking for unique and beautiful opportunities, but she keeps a laid back, friendly demeanor that makes it easy to open up and get good photos.

My time at Temple is teaching me a lot, but a great deal of it is not in a text book.  There is a lot of value to make your subjects feel comfortable - it allows you to get incredible photos like this one!
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(Photo belongs to Faye Murman and may be viewed on her Facebook page, which you can be come a fan of here!)

Digital Art

Something you may not know about me is that I am very, very picky about my personal taste in photography.  Although it spans a broad range, from abstract landscape portraits of crystalized salt formations in Nevada to runway chic with countless variations in between, I am still pretty selective about which images impress me the most.


I hope that this has been translating into my own work over the past few years.  True, whenever I look back at my photography even from just a few months ago I feel that it could use some improvement, but I am always learning and gaining new techniques, new information.


Something I've always had fun with is post-work that pushes the envelope beyond reality.  I get kind of annoyed when I see something that's supposed to look real and doesn't (inexperienced "glamour" photographers airbrushing every natural detail out of a human face is one of my biggest pet peeves!!!) but when a photo blends with post-work to create something altogether new and different from the original product, it's exciting for me.  I love photography more than I can say, but I was steeped in many types of art as a kid and I enjoy many mediums.  With photography changing so much now, the rules are shifting drastically and this new kind of experimentation is  more acceptable.


I was up far later than I should have been last night messing around with this image and I thought I'd share!


Edit:  Here are two other versions I came up with, as well.

Sea Turtles, mate.

Hello, all!  I'm taking this opportunity to ask that you please support my very good friend, Shea Hofferica, to reach her fund-raising goal for a trip to La Tortuga Feliz in 2011.  Here's her description of what she'll be doing there:


"La Tortuga Feliz is a non-profit organization dedicated to the protection of sea turtles in Costa Rica and once I complete my Associates Degree in Chemsitry next May I am flying down to volunteer for 35 days! Volunteers help out by patrolling beaches at night, guarding the hatcheries, helping with maintenance of the buildings and creating an ideal environment for the turtles to lay their eggs safely and without danger of poachers and fisherman. I am super excited for this opportunity and the experience it will give me in the environmental sciences. I need all the help I can get funding my flights, lodging fees and my travel pack necessary for the duration of my stay there, but I hope that with support, donations towards the cause and facebook/email forwarding I can make it down there for this experience of a lifetime!"


Please help Shea raise money for her trip, and if you have any questions about the program she's working with, feel free to visit their website.

Road trip!

Part of me loves road trips - I enjoy getting out of the Philly area and seeing new places.  In West Virginia I didn't get the chance to take quite as many photos as I would have liked to, since we were first and foremost celebrating my aunt's birthday.  We had a beautiful, relaxing time, but I'd really like to go back some time soon to devote a lot more into capturing that area.  What in interesting world!


Tomorrow is another exciting day!  I'll be heading off to Washington D.C. for the day to photograph Sarah and Terence and their nearly born baby Gabriel.


I can't wait to spend the day with them!  Sarah and Terence are such a beautiful couple and Gabriel is going to be an amazing addition to their lives.  I'm really excited to see what we get!

Y'all come back, now.

This weekend was such a beautiful and needed time away from the city.  My aunt's birthday was cause for a West Virginia mountain celebration - so we packed our tents and drove the four hours to their newly purchased 14 acres of land!

What a lovely place we found when we arrived.  Trees and tree saplings everywhere, and in the distance a farm on a hill where in the early morning you could just make out a rooster's crow.  It was absolutely gorgeous!

We had a little rain, but we all managed to have a good time anyway.  It was so good to be with my family for a few days and enjoy their company.  My fiancé and I were able to relax from the business of wedding planning and classes and take some time to go on a walk or stand in the rain.  It was wonderful. I'm excited to go back again some time soon!

Three months and one week!

It's so bizarre to think that in just over three months I am going to be a wife.  Have I reached "grown-up" at long last?  Can I now begin this long and complex journey to wrinkly and rocking-chair?  I'm excited.


Yesterday was muggy and 80 degrees, but it could have been worse, and out in my backyard it actually felt pretty nice, so I decided to take a few pictures.  I'm going to miss my backyard so much when we move.  I'm hoping for something equally beautiful, or even more-so.


There was a nice soft light underneath the trees that I took advantage of for these.  It really feels like walking into another world out there, I love it.  I wanted to plant a garden but I feel now sort of like there's not much of a point if I'll be leaving in just a few short months.


In other news, things are finally in the works for my Canon 5D Mark II and 24-70 f/2.8 and 70-200 f/2.8 lenses!  So excited!!! I should, if all things go according to plan, have them in the next few weeks so I can familiarize myself with them before the wedding I'm shooting in August.  Can't wait!

Dreamweaver.

Hello all.  The semester is coming to a close and I am relishing the free time to catch up on the rest of life! The wedding is just over three months away, can you believe it?


I had an interesting assignment in my Design for Journalists course.  My introduction to Dreamweaver was to create a website.  At first I was really confused about how this program works, but after some greatly appreciated help from friends Kevin Cook and Arielle Morgan, I was able to get things up and running.


I used my school domain for this project, but now that I understand how Dreamweaver works a little better, I am excited to build a website under my own domain.  How great to be learning these things, finally!


If you'd like to see what my school website ended up looking like, you can check it out here.
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Edit:  I reserved a free domain for my work and uploaded all of the HTML to that as well.  I also bought AlexisRyan.com, but I still need to work on getting that up and running.  In the meantime, please check out my current, working site!

Exit Reality

There hasn't been much time for writing, lately.  It's finals week, and there has been a lot of work to get done.

Tomorrow, I'll be displaying and selling work at Temple's Main Campus from 3:00 to 8:00 in the Annenberg Atrium!

I have to admit, I'm looking forward to having a little break before Summer I starts up.  It's been a long and tiresome semester.  I've learned a lot of really valuable things thus far and I'm gaining a lot of really useful contacts, which is awesome.  But I'm looking forward to having a free few days to straighten up my apartment, work on the wedding plans and get a nap or two before it all starts up again.


Nathaniel and I went back to the Kimmel Center yesterday, where we were engaged.  The clouds were absolutely amazing and felt so close, standing up in the garden.  I had to take this photo - somehow this is just what I feel like right now.  I have so many things happening at once, I just want to open a door somewhere and walk into a cloud and absolute silence except for the whir of air going past my ears.  The semester will be done soon.  There is an end in sight.  I will survive!

Swoon!

It was a beautiful day here in Philly and my fiancé broke out the video camera to document some of it.  Everything from putting on jackets as we walked out the door, to this moment here, when I stopped to take his picture, to the bed of his truck as the sun started to go down while we sat and ate gelati!


I had a little fun with the post-work on this, just fiddling with color, but the image itself came out clear as day.  I had some really great natural light to work with.  I wish I could get him to duplicate this look, but it was completely unstaged and candid.  Every time I look at it, though, I melt!  My fiancé is so GORGEOUS!!!

It was a beautiful day and I just wanted to share some of the beauty that was in it. 

Spring Fling

Well, despite the rain, wind, and cold, students and teachers alike were outside yesterday for Temple's annual Spring Fling.  There were tables lined up all along Liacouras Walk and musical guests, including N.E.R.D. and Girl Talk playing all day long and well into the night.  I wasn't there for most of it - I had class and homework that needed to get done, but I was able to go out and take a few pictures.


These two girls, Julianka Bell, a Psychology major, and Kristie Williams, an Advertising major, both seniors, were bundled up to keep warm but still managed to look fantastic.  They run a blog together, I encourage you all to check it out!

All you need is love!

Sorry there haven't been many updates in recent days.  Life has been so busy.  My fiancé and I visited the location for our reception on Thursday - it is truly like something out of a fairy tale.  You drive down a long, winding road in the middle of the woods until it dead ends in a valley by a creek and right there, where the road stops, is the most beautiful little inn on earth.  It's perfect.


Yesterday we looked at an apartment that we both really love and that fits our budget beautifully... and it's right across the street from where I am now!  Whew, but a long move that'll be. =P  We're so happy - everything is really coming together.


Today, we found out that some friends from church are getting married next week and the congregation is invited... which means I can see what an Orthodox wedding looks like!  How amazing!  What layers of blessings we are receiving - I'm so grateful.


I can't wait for August!!!

Choose your own adventure.

It's kind of interesting to see how people react to photos - the stories they make up to go along, the ways they justify them so they make sense in their line of reasoning.  Always be nervous when someone decides to tell you what your pictures mean.


I don't know what my pictures "mean", per se.  I know what they are.  I know what I wanted to capture, what I wanted to highlight, discover, reveal.  But what does that mean?  I guess it's up for interpretation - or anyway, I can't stop people from forming their own theories.  But I don't usually like hearing them.


In class a few weeks ago our teacher spent several minutes speaking about the person in one of my photos.  I couldn't help but be insulted, because while it was an educated and sympathetic guess, it really wasn't anywhere close to the truth.  The events that led up to this person being in this state when I took that picture were nothing like what was surmised.  But it was anyone's guess, I suppose.  Photos are like those choose your own ending stories, only there is a real ending, somewhere out there.  I guess people would rather use their imagination than know the truth.


I showed this picture yesterday in class, receiving reactions of discomfort, disbelief, disgust.  And then I told them it was my own neck.  I'm not ashamed or bothered by my scar - in fact, I kind of like it.  But these things don't matter when you see the picture.  You'll make your own decisions about how the subject feels, about why they did one thing instead of another, about what happened thirty seconds before or two seconds after the shutter clicked.  And I can't stop you.  And I think I'll stop trying.

Rest in peace, Pippin.

Tonight I came home and my guinea pig was lying still on his side.  After weeks of being sick and struggling to eat, while we tried everything we could think of to help him, he finally died while I was out tonight.  It couldn't have been long before I got home.  Every time I leave my apartment I say "Bye, Pippin.  I love you."  Guinea pigs are very affectionate and I think he liked hearing my voice.  It got to be a habit over time.


Last night I gave him a slice of apple and put some Vitamin C and V8 juice in his water but he couldn't get to either - I watched him try for two minutes to get a single bite with no success.  So I chopped up an apple slice into tiny pieces, held him in my lap and fed them to him.  He ate for half an hour while making tiny little happy grunting noises.  I miss him terribly but I'm glad to know I was able to help him a little before he went and I think he was happy.


We buried him in my back yard.  This morning I was digging holes to start planting my sunflowers and never finished - so I wrapped him and put him in the cigar box I've had since I was a kid and we put him in the hole.  I'm still going to plant my sunflowers there.


He was a great pet.  He was really sweet and patient and cuddly.  He'll be missed.  So, for the last time, bye Pippin.  I love you.

Wonder Child

Jacob is getting chubbier as the days go by.  He's still so tiny but he has puffy little cheeks... and dimples!  The girls adore him.


This photo was taken at one of my favorite moments from Georgia's labor.  Alyssa is such a bizarre child - she's this clumsy little tank but she's always got this out-of-this-world look on her face like she's thinking about things we can't even comprehend.  When Georgia was having a contraction, Alyssa walked right up to the side of the pool and put her hand on Georgia's head to comfort her.  Afterwards, she walked to Matt and patted him on the arm with this amazing little encouraging smile on her face.  Then she turned around and walked, naked as the day she was born, out the door and down the hallway.  Incredible.