All is calm. All is bright.

With Christmas right around the corner, I am officially in holiday song mode. I know, the radio has been playing Frosty the Snowman since Thanksgiving, but I try to tune it out as much as possible until these last few days.

See, I really like Christmas music. So much of it is so absolutely beautiful, or lively, or fun, and I really enjoy singing along to all the old classics. But too much of any good thing eventually wears on you. So I wait. And now, with Christmas less than a week away, I'm excited to be dancing around the kitchen with my son in my arms, singing along to The Most Wonderful Time of the Year while the yummy smell of baking chocolate chip cookies fills the air.

For Nathaniel and I, the excitement of Christmas now has so much to do with watching our son experience everything. And I enjoy all of the family, the time spent together, the gifts, truly - I do. But I am most looking forward to Christmas morning at our church, where the beauty of this day shines through the commercialism and cuts to the simple, sweet message underneath it all.

Your Nativity, O Christ our God,
Has shone to the world the Light of wisdom!
For by it, those who worshipped the stars,
Were taught by a Star to adore You,
The Sun of Righteousness,
And to know You, the Orient from on High.
O Lord, glory to You!

Christmas angels

Christmas is a time for joy and celebration, but for a lot of people, Christmas is a very difficult season. For a few friends in particular, these past few weeks have been a struggle to get through. For others, these days remind them of people who aren't here to celebrate anymore, and no matter how much time goes by, you never stop missing them.

At Christmastime, I miss my great-grandmother more than ever. The festive lights always remind me of how we used to drive around and rate houses together, always deciding that although we loved the decked-out gaudy one for its daring, we like the simple white lights best. These should be happy memories, and mostly they are, but I can't recall them without feeling the aching longing for her to be here again and to relive those moments. I'm grateful to have been as close with her as I was, she was an incredible woman.

My beautiful little man is always smiling, laughing, finding something new to explore. His new curiosities are the stuff of professional comic relief and he's recently started giving me kisses - wet, open mouth, protruding tongue kisses on the cheek - and there is nothing in the world that compares with the love that they make me feel for him. He is my Christmas angel. He reminds me of all the beautiful good in this world. Amidst chaos, uncertainty, fear, loss, there is this boy playing in the tub and smiling up at me as though everything is ok. And as strange as it may sound, that gives me hope.

Calendar Boy

January: Caesar

February: Painter

March: Irishman

April: Caterpillar

May: Farmer

June: Barber

July: Rocket

August: Pool Boy

September: Tom Sawyer

October: Buddhist Monk

November: Soldier

December: Shepherd

My little pear picker.

A friend from Temple showed me the coolest photographs by Adele Enerson, a series called "Mila's Daydreams." Every day for a year, this mother set up scenes around her baby after she'd fallen asleep. They are so creative. Of course now my mind is going off on the possibilities for Constantine and for other new babies. Giving credit where credit is due, I still believe imitation to be the greatest form of flattery!

That's all for now - and again, you can see more photos on my facebook!